It’s been a mixed week. My motivation hasn’t been particularly good and I’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed by things that shouldn’t be overwhelming. I’m putting it down to the fact that I am of a certain age, coupled with the ever present strangeness of our new world. I think the new rules regarding face coverings have unsettled me a little. It’s not that I disagree with them, I am just concerned about those of us who cannot wear them for whatever reason, being turned away from shops or public transport, or facing abuse from intolerant people. I am particularly concerned about people with hidden disabilities such as Autism who may be unable to wear masks or find masks on other people frightening and confusing. I have an adult child who lives independently for whom this is going to prove extremely difficult. I’m not sure how we will move forward with this, but it’s constantly on my mind.

Last weekend we took a long drive out into the country. My husband was keen to give the car a good run as it’s been mostly redundant during lockdown and I was glad of a change of scenery. We took a flask of coffee and a small picnic lunch, which we ate in a secluded layby in the middle of nowhere, before heading further into nowhere. Nowhere feels safest for me at the moment. My anxieties surrounding the pandemic are still very high and I find going out almost impossible. However, we stopped to look at the scenery a bit further on and I actually got out of the car. I stood for a few minutes looking towards Cumbria breathing the fresh cool air in as it blew from the west and wondering when I will be able to mentally manage a trip into the lakes. Not that I’m in any hurry to swamp the locals with tourists this summer. I imagine lakeland dwellers are a bit conflicted about the summer crowds returning this year. I do hope the tourism industry is able to operate fully but safely though, as the incomes it generates are so many people’s livelihoods.

Anyway, enough of the gloomy stuff. There have been some positives this week. Firstly, one of my children gained their BA Honours degree, of which I am extremely proud. It feels strange there not being a graduation to attend, and their end of year show (it was an arts degree) which they had put a lot of work into had to be cancelled, but on the whole there is a feeling of achievement and relief that it’s over, even if there is now apprehension about what happens next for them all.

Secondly I sold the little hearts picture I mentioned in my last post. I don’t usually like to talk about things selling as it feels a bit like bragging but this gave me a much needed lift during an otherwise grey week. Not even my second hand retail therapy could lift my mood this week! There were a few goodies worth noting but I will put them in a separate post.

So that was my week. Negatives and positives cancelling each other out and leaving a neutrality of mood. I will be more positive in my next post, I promise!